Sunday, May 07, 2006

started alright till at night dinner
he called

he asked who i am with .. i said 4 guys
then he asked for the names

i was "huh but u dun know them.."
anyway i just said their names ...

then talked awhile

then he keep msgin me .. abt him feelin miserable.. not payin enough attention to him
keep avoidin.. sayin friends more impt issit ..

i dunno wat to say to him ..
i NEVER neglect him or his msgs..

i feel embarassed to be typin on my hp so often in front of my friends
they were like "so busy ah"

but he doesnt understand..
he say he lost everything..

i say he had not

then this mornin still sleepin he say i dun wan to pick up his calls ..or reply his msgs..

he say he lost all trust in me ..

i'm still cluessless over wat matter ..

he say its up to me whether i still wan to continue anot ..

i dunno abt tat already ......

i dunno how to pull myself up already

was just thrown in a bottomless pit ..

his assumptions.. i dunno wat its based on .. insecurities? mistrust ? or he aint bothered with me now ..

its only a week since he's in taiwan ..

i dunno how it will turn out already ..

he's goin field camp 9 days .. no contact ..

maybe its a good coolin off period

to re evaluate this whole thing .. he made it sound i'm at fault while he's there sufferin or the one holdin this relationship up while i am havin fun ..

i tried my best to comfort him, encourage him already .. i do not know any other methods already ..

now he tell me to cheer up and hope i feel better ..

there's a glimmer of hope .. for now

hopefully its just a moment of frustration tat he said such things..

i am still holdin on..

i am amazed by my own stubborness and persistence too as ppl around me cant seem to stand him ..

suddenly tot of a song...


I WILL SURVIVE.. world still goes on revolvin .. i still have my life ..
i still have the trip ahead ..

hmm.. anyone wanna come fetch me when i come back? i'll give u more details..

feels better to have ppl around me..

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