.. makes me think..

alot ..
wonderin wat should be my next step
my decision ..

i do not know wat i wan anymore
wat i desire anymore ..
its like a blur these few weeks

i cant always pretend the probs are not there..
if it surfaced before
it will surface again

i cant always face it with a smilin face
its too tiring..

to hate and to forgive and the cycle starts again

am i too ambitious? too greedy?

.. i wan the best
but is it for me to decide?

time..will tell ..i hope

................

on another note, my parents are more panicky than me abt the trip..
mum forbade me to go out this week, to rest more, get the essentials and pack my stuff..
she keep sayin "you're weak.. must rest more .."
hai hai .. i admit i tire easily another reason for me sleepin so damn early ...
well she's just worried i get sick over there and there's no one to take care of me ask me eat med or make sure i get enough rest
dad's also givin me so many instructions esp when passin thru customs or when over there dun follow strangers etc hahah scared i get lost there... hai hai

i travelled before .. no worries... although its my first time ALONE now ..
should be alright .. maybe make me more independent after this?