To start off the week, i have questions for my readers to ponder over.

Are parents SELFISH?
DO you SEE your parents as being selfish?

I was talking to a friend when she suddenly mentioned about how some parents are selfish. I asked her to elaborate and this is her explanation. (in my own words)

"Parents who call their children frequently has this mentality that they own the children and the children are supposed to be looking after them, regardless or not whether they have their own family, they are worried that once the children start their own family, they will become secondary and will not get enough attention and support, financially and emotionally anymore.
They also do not trust the children that's why they call to keep tabs on them and do not give enough freedom even when they are adults."

I was quite skeptical with my friend's explanation. When she mentioned about parents being selfish by calling frequently or asking about your situations etc. i prefered to term it as "concern". No matter what age you are, i feel that we are still "little kids" in their eyes, not in a bemeaning sense, but we will always be their children. And its not they dont trust us, it has become a habit i feel, for parents to call and ask, for my own parents that is.

Then she went on to use her colleague as an example.

Her colleague is a married woman in her late thirties and when she mentioned about starting a family to her in-laws, they dont sound very enthusiastic or supportive.

Her colleague's interpretation of her in-laws' behaviour is that they are worried that their son, her husband, will shower them with less attention or neglect them, and to intensify the situation, he is their only son.

To me, the daughter-in-law cant do anything and better not do anything lest she incurred more "wrath" from the in-laws who will be thinking that she is trying to sow more discord or place more distance between their son and them, only the son can reassure the parents and allow them to slowly let go of him and support him behind the scenes.

My personal interpretation will be as follows.

We, children, do owe our parents and should return the favour, this what "FILIAL PIETY" is all about. Its the thoughts that count i believe, not an obligation that we must do something back for them. IF you do it unwillingly, it defeats the purpose aint it? However again some parents might make use of this "filial piety" thinking and demand alot more from their children so it depends how individuals look at the situation and decipher the actions. Some parents will also think that it is only right for parents to look after the children and not expect anything in return when the children are able, however i feel that its always good to return something back, the thoughts that count, i am sure the parents will be very happy about it.

Maybe different families have different cultures. Some families might be stricter with the children eg, no dating before a certain age, no staying over at friend's place, no travelling with bf, no clubbing etc. Just as long as the children are comfortable with it, its up to own individual families to impose their own "house rules".

If you do not feel the same way as your parents, i believe communication is the key.

I do have clashes with my mum especially when it comes to my relationships so i always had to compromise and soon she will let down her guard once in awhile. I try not to push the boundaries and everything will fall into place nicely and everyone will be happy.

You are your parents' child, surely you know what they want? Just give in abit or explain and i believe it will be fine. And also to be open with everything you do. Once you earn their trust, everything will be easier. Surely you want to have your own life with their blessings and support.

I am being optimistic.
Being given the freedom is always welcome but i still like being fussed over like a kid by my mum.
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my ramblings for the week hahahah
feels good to give my fingers and brain a workout in the morning :P

Sunday was spent at SIM LIM with dear, i was contemplating whether to buy myself an IPOD or a camera, in the end, i got none. I think i shall aim the K810i instead, with a 3.2megapix cam and the sound quality of the music player is quite up to standard too. So till my hp is spoilt or there's promotions, i shall wait. :)

Then we went for icecream at Joo Chiat and reached back home early evening, dinner was with his family and it was a spread! hee

Simple day but i like it lots.