Taking a long deep breath

Today was reading through forum and the busybody me will read about other people's relationship problems..

anyway, today found an interesting thread.
"can gf propose to bf?"
and the gal is 23 the guy is 24 and dating for 5 years.

most said yes, if he's a catch
some said yes, if he has not hinted at all
some said no, its a guy's job
some said depends, depending how long together
but the one reason i love most
some said depends, whether he has the mindset or not

its not like forcing the bf to get committed immediately, its to find out whether he is able to "commit" to a higher level, like higher sense of responsibilities towards the gf or their future etc
some can stay on for years yet not prepared at all, some can stay together for much shorter time and think that they got "the one"

time, is never a good judgement in this sense.

beside all the fantasizing of the white wedding and gowns whatsoever..

however amid the replies, i found a logical post by someone who said

"Hey Girl. Im not opposed to you proposing nor you going for marriage at the age for 23, because contrary to others, if your mindset is right, i.e, you wish to settle down with your loved one in a family as a wife and you're sure he's the one whom you wanna spend the rest of the life with, then go ahead.

But hor, what Im worried is, is your BF ready? Is he ready to commit to a marriage? Is he ready to be a husband? A husband and a boyfriend is different. With a successful proposal, there comes a wedding, a love nest(house), so on and so forth. Is your BF ready emotionally, financially?

The question is not about you 2 have been together for 5 years. Some couples can be together for 7 or 10 years but they are still not ready to be married as husband as wife. On the contrary, some couples can be together for 6mths or 1 year, but their mindset are ready for marriage. It's also not about age either. It's the mindset

How about you "analyze" him before taking any actions. He must be a good bf if you stayed with him for 5 years. But do you think he will be a good husband too? Living in together with him will be a good preview. Open the topic about marriage by talking about your friend's marriage. If dont have, then you spin 1 story la, just to get his views on

1)When should a couple get married
2) why should a couple get married
3) after married, is there any differences to living pattern, lifestyle, duties, roles etc
4) will he want to stay with parents
5) is there anything he cant accept for a wife, e.g, cant cook etc
6) how much savings he think is enough for a wedding and marriage
7) how ready is him emotionally and financially to be a husband(be very tactful)
etc

A successful marriage is much more important than a successful proposal or wedding. Hope you get what I mean..."

marriage, is never easy.
and marriage, is never certain.

then finally ask yourself

"how do you know he is the one?"